Disclaimer: this article is obviously going to be discussing sex, but not in detail. Still, it's recommended for adults only.
I am going to start this off with an extremely wild concept for most people: women like sex. Now let's talk about why that matters and what we are doing wrong, pretty much across the planet.
There are a lot of misconceptions about sex that mostly originate from Hollywood, but also from the church in general. The main one is that women have no interest in sex, it's just something they do because their husbands want to do it. In most cases, it's used like a bargaining chip to control the husband but almost never are women portrayed to actually want it themselves. When they are actually shown to want it, it's always this fast paced and seemingly passionate stuff, and of course, never with a married couple. This type of thing is almost always something sinful and completely fake. This brings me to the next misconception we need to talk about, the pleasure of women as it relates to sex.
Sex is a very pleasurable thing made for both men and women, in marriage of course. For men this is easy to figure out because things go rather fast for them, but women are different than that. It isn't just a fast thing for women, but in the end it is actually more pleasurable if anything, and that is exactly as it should be. Far too many couples are treating sex like it's supposed to be a fast thing meant only to please the man in the relationship. It might take a little more time and some extra effort, but it is worth doing so that the two can connect in a way no one else can. Sex is all about connecting to each other and learning, becoming closer and even sacrificing things for the other person. That might mean time or breaking out of your comfort zone and trying something new, but make no mistake, sex is for both of you. It is absolutely worth it to do everything you can to please each other. Which, of course, leads me into the next misconception, that sex is only for having kids.
While having kids is an obvious and important aspect of sex, and what it is primarily for, that isn't all it is for. As I mentioned before, sex is meant to bring us together and make us closer than anything else can but it's more then that. Sex is also about pleasure, doing things to make each other feel good and that is how God designed it. It isn't a coincidence that sex is a pleasurable thing, that is exactly as it should be, but people have this weird idea that sex is sinful unless it's for reproduction. It has its roots in the idea that sex is a dirty thing and to do it makes you impure, so it can only possibly be for having kids, and aside from that it's bad. This is very obviously wrong when you consider the fact that there is an entire book about sex in the Bible.
God would never tell you to sin and yet before the fall he told us to be fruitful and multiply, back in Genesis, a time without sin. You don't lose your purity when you have sex, you lose your purity when you choose to have sex outside of marriage. Anything in marriage pretty much goes (aside from a few things that really should be obvious but seemingly aren't). That is an issue worthy of its own article though. The fact is, in marriage everything about sex is pure and good, exactly as God intended it, so don't be afraid to do it just for the sake of pleasure and connection. I am not even able to have kids anymore, it doesn't mean that I am not allowed anywhere near my wife. And another thing, women, don't be afraid to push your husbands to do more. It is not wrong to want what you should have been getting all along sexually. He is not going to leave you or go for something else just because he has to spend some extra time with you, it will be good for him too in the long run!
Most of these misconceptions are left over traditions from places like the Catholic church, or ideas we have gotten from Hollywood. We need to smarter and not let these things lie to us, sex is a good and moral thing in marriage and it's something to look forward to. Don't make it something dirty or just something for the sake of reproduction, because it's more than that and you are depriving yourself of the full experience when you think that way. I promise you, God wants sex to be an awesome thing for both people in the relationship, so just have fun with it and enjoy God's gift to the fullest!
Dedicated to making strong disciples of Christ.