Congratulations on your engagement!
* Discretion advised for the information below! *
This section is specifically written for couples who are about to be married, so some of the subject matter here is only suitable for such! If you're not about to be married, you can move right along to our dates page!
Head towards marriage prepared!
A Message to Those with Guilt over their Past
You can't change what you did in the past, even if it was just yesterday, but you can choose to love and be loved by this person you've chosen to marry, and you can choose what you'll do today to shape tomorrow.
Fun fact; We ALL have a past. You, and the person you're marrying. We've all done things we're not proud of. Those things may be very different from person to person, but we're just as unable to change those decisions.
There's good news, though!
He is God. The son of God. And he has already taken on the punishment for any and all past sins when he died on a cross, innocent, then rose again. You just need to turn to Him for forgiveness and let it go. It doesn't matter where you are, He's there. He can hear you. Confess your sins, the errors of your ways, ask for forgiveness, and, if you haven't already, ask for Him to come into your life as your Lord and as Savior.
"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." -Romans 10:13
Know that He is faithful to forgive. You may still feel the sting of consequences, and you will need to talk openly about these things with your new spouse, but you may also allow healing to take place. There is no longer need for guilt, for He makes you innocent.
Are you ready to leave and cleave?
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." -Genesis 2:24
God should always be your first priority, with your spouse coming before everyone else in your life. This means to put the needs of your spouse before your own, as well as before your family, friends, and children.
This isn't to say they don't matter, they obviously do! This is simply to say that as much as they all matter to you, your spouse matters even more.
A Message to Virgins about the Wedding Night
For those of you that have waited for this moment, the intimacy between husband and wife is a beautiful thing to truly enjoy! If you're excited for the wedding night then you've already got the right mindset!
Still, there may be a few things you're not completely prepared for. Hopefully this will help!
1. The night right after the wedding you and your sweetheart may be too exhausted to really think about anything other than sleep, but if that happens that's totally okay! You have every morning, noon, and night for the rest of your lives together for more intimate things!
2. When you are able to do it, it helps to relax! Relaxing makes everything go so much better. Also, forget any preconceived notions. It's a learning process, don't panic if it's tricky at first and have fun with it together!
3. Bring lubricant and a couple wash cloths to the bed with you. It can be messy, so having a couple cloths nearby helps.
4. Make sure you pee after you've made love! It helps prevent urinary tract infections, so you should both make a habit of doing it! (It doesn't have to be immediately after, though! Take time to cuddle a bit before you go, or make plans to be close after!)
5. Everyone is different, but especially every woman, and especially in this area. What works for one doesn't always work for another, and keep in mind that the very first time you're intimate in this way it can be painful for the bride. Again, that's no guarantee, but if the issue does arise, here's some advice!
To the groom; Take things slow and help her to laugh and relax. This isn't really something in her control right now, so listen to and reassure her. She needs to feel safe with you. Things will get better for her (and in turn, better for you!) with time and practice. Extra tip! Penetration alone really doesn't do much for a woman like it does for a man. Try to get creative with your hands to make things more pleasurable!
To the bride; If it's painful at first make sure you're not too dry. Take your time to get there, or try adding lubricant! If you're still in pain have him go slow and stop, then try squeezing him with your muscles down there. (The same muscles you'd use to stop the flow of urine when you pee!) After squeezing a bit, let him continue while you focus on what feels good and relax, or shower him with kisses to put the focus on him if you're feeling a little self-conscious! Pain isn't permanent. It's going to get better as your body adjusts!