Sometimes we get into a slump. We aren't motivated, and our lack of self discipline often carries over into our relationship. We aren't going out of our way for the other person like we should. Let's tackle that!
First off, let's not downplay it, sometimes slumps occur when we have a need that's not being met, like adequate sleep time or proper meals. This is probably why it can be common when you have children, as they're high energy and seldom give you a break. There may also be deeper struggles, like depression, that make even the simplest of tasks feel like a huge drain on the mind and body. Overthinking things when you're down doesn't help, but sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to do something for someone else! And there is no cure quite like gratitude.
So, let's start with a little meditation, that is, lovely thoughts about that special person in your life.
*If you have children, consider popping something on for them to watch, or giving them a book or some snacks to distract them for a moment.
Wherever you are, start really thinking on everything you love about your sweetheart.
Any nice memory that comes to mind or positive trait of theirs, just take a couple minutes to think on them positively.
Next, think about something you could do today that would make them happy.
Write it down. It can be as simple as a little surprise, as regular as cooking them timely meals, and as basic as telling them how much you love and appreciate them, just consider the little things that they maybe haven't had from you lately.
If you're starting to feel a bit of energy at the thought of making their day, then get those thoughts into action!
Add to the list of what you'd like to do for them. Win them over with love, respect, and effort. Go get started!
We don't always love and pursue like we should, but there's no reason we can't kick back into gear and express gratitude for them now.
All five matter, so let's make them happen!
You've probably heard of the five love languages;
Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
Why not put all five of them into practice?
Sit down with your sweetheart and write out the five love languages on a sheet of paper, then ask for your dear to fill out what way they would like to receive these from you this week. Allow them to take their time to think about it. If a day is needed, that's fine! It is to fulfill their desires, after all. You can mention you might not be able to meet every need, but you will do your absolute best!
Right after it's filled out, find something on the list you can do right then--and do it!
Marriage is an absolutely beautiful thing! For some of us, the wedding or what followed might have been less beautiful and more stressful than it ever should have been. If you feel like you had a rough start, it's never too late for the happily ever after!
Similar to restarting your day or beginning a new year, if you feel like your wedding memories aren't quite what you hoped for, it may be best to start fresh! Consider a Vow Renewal for you and your spouse!
This is not saying your vows ever expired! Not even close! Marriage by design lives as long as you do. This is, rather, to say that you are just as thrilled to give yourself to the love of your life now as you were back then.
Maybe you had a very small wedding and you wanted to have a huge one. Well, you can start planning the big event now! Make it into everything you wanted it to be! Have a planner and be extravagant!
Or maybe, and more likely, your wedding was fine but there was just unneeded stress from people in your life the days leading up to (and even on) your big day. There are plenty of circumstances that could steal a bit of the joy from your big day. If something like that is the case, try this:
An intimate setting with just you, your spouse, and God.
Say your vows before one another and Him, because you're already married so this is all that is needed. Set it up as a day for just the two of you, no invitations needed. You may consider setting up a camera to record your private event! After which, eat out somewhere nice, and even have yourselves a wedding night where you just really enjoy one another! And if you'd like, presents are always an option, but the biggest thing is the mental reset and starting fresh with the person who means the world to you.
Have you ever camped out, loved it, and missed it in the colder months? That's not a problem with this date for married couples, as it can be done anytime of the year, no matter the weather!
Gather together sleeping bags, snacks, a good book and anything else that you might take out camping, then pick a room in your house to make camp with your sweetheart!
If you don't have sleeping bags, you can use lots of pillows and a comforter instead like we did!
I adore journals, dairies, and notebooks! I like browsing through them in the store as I think about the many possible uses for each one. There are a lot of uses for a writer such as myself, but today I want to share with you some of the ways I've used them in my relationship, which you can try, too!
Back when my husband Andrew and I were dating long distance, I bought myself a beautiful journal so I would be able to record the day we first met in person. I wrote down that special day and all the good times we had together in the months there after.
It's been great to have each and every giddy moment written in ink and set upon my bookshelf! I can read over those memories and reminisce again and again.
I highly recommend this if you're going through a special time in your life that you always want to remember!
This one is sort of like a gratitude journal, but it revolves around my husband. I don't write in it every single day, but sometimes when he gives me something or does something I really like, I jot it down to reflect on later. (I also write things I find attractive about him on particular days, both character and physical traits!)
This is something that really makes me appreciate my husband, as well as feel loved and appreciated myself. Now typically this is going to be for married couples, and you would write this privately, but don't sweat it if your spouse finds it. Mine did, but it made him pretty happy to read my entries about him. Once he started there was no stopping him! (but it was nice getting a great big hug afterward!)
What You Are Journal
For my husband's birthday I started a very personal present a couple months beforehand. It was a little black journal which I filled from A to Z with his many positive traits!
Example of how you could fill this if you were to write one:
"You are Charming.
From your smile to the way you talk, you're incredibly charming!"
Next up, this one is on my journal to-do list! A Generosity Journal is used for recording what you're putting into your relationship. If you buy a nice gift or do a good service for your spouse you can record it here along with their reaction and how it made you feel. The goal is to fill the journal, so the idea behind it is you'll be even more motivated to give to your spouse. I personally like the idea of doing secret acts of service to make their day! (Side note, I'm opposed to keeping secrets in marriage, communication should always be open, but I do make exceptions for surprise gifts and acts of kindness.)
Dream Journal (but not the sleepy kind!)
Last one is for the dreamer! A Dream Journal is for writing future plans, goals, and ideas. It's like a bucket list for your relationship. For me, it's not just about places to go or accomplishments to achieve, but also the self-improvements I can make which will have the added benefit of helping my relationship thrive. This journal helps set clear goals to pursue.
That's all of the journals for this post! Have you tried any of these before? If you have, why not share your experience in the comment section? If not, please share which journal idea you like most!
This little project will help you focus on praying for your sweetheart!
Start by setting out a square piece of paper for folding. I used paper that was red on the front and white on the back!
Pray for that special someone, then write what you prayed about for them onto the back of the paper. You can write it generically, or do what I did and write down the prayer as you're speaking.
Last, fold the paper into a heart shape. Of course you don't have to do a heart. You can fold a paper airplane or a crane, or any number of other shapes, but hearts are really simple and cute!
You will now have a nice way to show that you were praying for them! You can do this project over the course of a week or a month and share a collection of hearts if you'd like!
Have fun, and may God bless you both!